When you can't sleep, write!

Right now I should be sleeping. In all other instances I would be, but tonight for some reason my mind is whirring and I can't seem to focus on sleep. So, what am I doing? Writing, of course! I hope it helps sort my thoughts and calms me down. I'm not really sure why sleep isn't happening right now. Maybe it's the anticipation of all the things that are happening in such short amounts of time: graduation, trip to Scotland, internship in NYC, moving to Edinburgh. I am anxious and terrified for all these events, and I know that no amount of worrying will help sort through my fears. What will be will be, and there's really no use worrying. Still, I'm worrying, go figure. Uncertainty is not my friend.

I'm sure a lot of students can relate to my feelings. Many are just as uncertain and worried about the future as I am, if not more. I guess it's a part of transitioning from one pocket of life to another. Becoming engrossed in the adult world sooner than we realize makes us afraid, uncertain, apprehensive, intrigued yet terrified.

But fear to any change is necessary. It lets us know we're doing something that will challenge us and improve our lives for the better (hopefully). At least it will serve as a learning experience that can help shape our attitudes and life outlook in new ways. Change is scary, but it's part of everyone's life, and I suppose making it a collective human experience also makes the feeling more accessible and creates a sense of solidarity with one another, evokes empathy between human beings, makes us say things like, I know where you're coming from. I know what you mean. I'm with you.

I hope that by the time August rolls around I will be more confident and comfortable with the shadow of Change. For now, I guess I like so many other graduating college students will have to breathe deep and dive in to the next part of our life journeys.

Let the fun begin.